Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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