idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
