none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
