She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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