Don't you send me to vm
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
