I wanna bring you to show and tell
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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