I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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