she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
