Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
