we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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