mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
