worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
