i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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