yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize