He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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