My first STD was from a foam party
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
