the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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