Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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