just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
