Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
