Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
