Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
