i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
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He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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