you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
