i was born a porn star she said
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
