her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Even my vagina gasped.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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