hell yes lets make some ravioli
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
