She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Two words: nipple clamps
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