u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
