Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
