So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
