i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
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