worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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