I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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