Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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