There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
