I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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