I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
