How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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