Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
