My first STD was from a foam party
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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