I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
