proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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