Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
