The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
