I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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