If i come over, it means nothing
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
