i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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