What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
