I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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