I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
