So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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