Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
