I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
