I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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