I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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