it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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