I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
