I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
