that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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