don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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