CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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