why didn't you poke me back
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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