She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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